Can't You Love Me Back?
by MadCakeW
Summary: Ritsu finally accepts his feelings for Takano, but he keeps it to himself, afraid of getting heartbroken again. But no matter when he goes to avoid the object of his affection, he's always found.
1. Chapter 1

_This is not good. Why am I here?_

I open my eyes groggily only to be faced with a wall that is most definitely not mine and you can imagine my shock when I try to get up but two strong arms wrapped around me destroy any hope I had of leaving the bed.

I'm kind of afraid to turn around, I re_ally _don't want to see Takano's face right now. Mainly because I know if I look at him I'll lose any resolve to leave the bed. His sleeping face is just too cute.

No.

No I didn't fucking think that, you're delusional. Takano's a monster who only uses me for his pleasure, monster's aren't cute. Look up monster in the dictionary and you'll just find a picture of Takano. Yes, yes, he's a beast.

_In bed too~_

"Aaarrrrggghhhh." I quietly yell as I attempt to pull out my hair. Bad Ritsu! BAD!

Takano stirs slightly and in doing so, loosens his superhuman grip on me. Yes, this is my chance.

I gently remove Takano's tone arm -no, not tone, his arm is definitely _not _toned- and try to wiggle my way out of the bed. But just as I reach the edge, Takano's arm suddenly regains his strength and pulls me back to his...shirtless chest. Takano's chuckles a little whilst I try to squirm my way out, but even now I know it's no use.

"Where do you think you're going, _Ritsu?_" Takano breathes into my ear and I instinctively pull away from his mouth, but the only way my body could go was towards Takano's chest even more, so that's what I did. It's better than him whispering into my ear using the same voice he does when we hav-. I need a spray bottle of water to use on myself every time I even get _close _to thinking about that.

"Preferably to my own apartment. Seeing as my clothes are in there and you're not." I wiggle my body downwards so he can't see my face which is probably acting as a heating pack for his chest. But instead of letting me go, Takano pulls me closer and buries his face in my hair and hums.

"I see." His voice resonates from the top of my head like an electric shock down to my...nope.

"Isn't that the point where you let me go?" It's useless to even suggest, but it's not like trying could make anything worse.

"But it's too cold to sleep alone, and we don't have work today, so there's no rush." Takano's body wraps around me, and I hate to admit it but he's right. It's so warm in here even though it's winter. But that still doesn't excuse his childlike behaviour, even if it is a little cute.

You know what, I'm going to ignore that, I never said that so it's fine.

Soon enough, I just give up and cuddle into him a bit more for more warmth. And me being the stupid idiot I am, I make the mistake to look up because curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to see what kind of face Takano's making. And of course my heart ends up beating out of my chest when I see his eyes staring down at me gently and a smile on his face. No, not his smirk that he likes to use 99% of the time around me (the other 1% is a frown) but no, it's a gorgeous, loving smile.

If I'm going to be truthful to myself, and I always am, I'd love to lean up and kiss him right here and now. And although the thought makes me blush as usual, this time I _want _it for myself, not because he did anything to me.

The thought scares me to hell though.

"Ritsu." Takano mumbles and strokes the side of my face and I involuntarily lean into his soft touch. My action catches Takano off guard and his hand pauses for a moment before resuming the calming pattern.

I can't believe that I'm actually feeling how I am. A warm heat spreads throughout my whole body, especially my cheeks. But right now I don't care, the only thing I can think about is Takano's lips on mine, his gentle yet firm rhythm. But Takano doesn't catch on with my thoughts, he always does when I don't want him to so why not now? He just casually keeps his eyes closed but continues to stroke my hair slowly.

It kind of pisses me off.

The one time I actually _want _you to kiss me and you don't, I'm not going to make the first move mister, otherwise my thoughts will be revealed.

I'm just a whole sack full of contradictions aren't I? Fuck me.

The urge for Takano's lips just continues to grow and before I know it. I lean up and press my lips against the Monster's. His eyes fly open, showing more shock than when I leant into his hand. But of course, he quickly recovers -which makes me a little mad, why can't he stay shocked for more than 2 seconds?- and grips me hard. His lips move against mine at a pace that leaves no room for air.

After making out with Takano for...I don't even know how long we were doing it for, but it was a looong time, we eventually stopped after my lips began to bruise. Although I couldn't feel any pain, Takano looked out for me even in this aspect.

The thought makes my heart flutter and suddenly the spray bottle feels like a horrible idea. I'm allowed to have these thoughts about him...right? Thoughts like how his body perfectly fits with mine, or how his eyes stare at me lovingly, or even how his hands roam my body every time we get intimate as if that will be the last time he gets to hold me.

Is it so wrong to love him?

…

Love?

Do I love Takano? Can I say I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Can I say I want to wake up every morning wrapped up in each other's arms. Does the idea of having him all to myself make me smile? Does _he _make me smile?

The answer to all of those is yes. But he doesn't love me back. I'm just a toy to him, someone that he will throw away as soon as he gets bored off me.

A sick feeling in my stomach washes over me and tears prick at my eyes. This is why I was always so scared, unrequited love is the worst. It makes someone feel even more lonely and useless. I feel my body about to start shaking, and I can't let Takano see me like this. I swallow the lump in my throat and use the rest of my stability to talk.

"Takano, I'm meeting with my cousin today, so I need to leave to go get ready." I blink away the tears threatening my eyes and look up at the man I love. He uses his killer smile on me, resulting in my heart acting as if I just ran a marathon.

"Alright, Ritsu." Takano releases his hold on me after kissing my on the forehead gently. I get up and collect my things from around the floor and rush out of the room.

_Don't kiss me like that. Don't look at me like that. Don't make me fall for you even more. Please._


	2. Chapter 2

_Why can't you just leave so these feelings will disappear?_

The best thing about what I told Takano is that I actually _am _meeting up with my cousin today, so there's no way he could have called me out for lying. I was planning to cancel though, my cousin and I don't really get along well. Actually we get along fine, I just wish we didn't because he's like a puppy, way too much fucking energy.

I grab some clothes from my closet and go to take a shower. My body still feels hot from Takano's touch. I turn the water to cold and stand under it, but even the water plus the freezing air couldn't keep Takano from my mind.

I stood in the shower for about 5 minutes before I realised my whole body's numb. Stupid. I quickly get out and get changed into my clothes. I have about 30 minutes until I have to leave, so I grab a spare blanket and watch the television. After about 10 minutes shivering under my blanket, wishing for Takano's warmth, I hear a crash in the apartment next to mine followed by a loud curse.

What on earth did Takano break? It sounded something like a vase. I get up, still shivering of course, and walk over to Takano's apartment. I have to make sure he's okay I guess. I was about to knock but right before my fist hit the door, it opened to reveal Takano...bleeding.

"What happened?!" I exclaim, Takano rakes a hand through his hair and sighs.

"I broke two plates." He sighs again before looking into my eyes. He showed no emotion but my heart still skipped a beat.

"Not the crash, well that too, but your head!" I point to his forehead where the source of the blood is coming from and he dabs his finger onto the wound, apparently only now realising that blood was there.

"Oh." He replies dumbly. Morning Takano is the worst type of Takano.

"Not 'oh' go wash it. How the fuck did you injure your head breaking a plate?" It's illogical, but so is Takano so it makes sense.

"No idea." Takano turns around to go wash the wound, I want to follow him in but I know that'll look suspicious so I walk back to my room. I have to leave soon anyway.

I was about to enter my apartment but my cell went off. I can already imagine who it is.

"Hello?" I speak into the phone, already holding it away from my ear, bracing for the hyperactive voice.

"RITSUU! IT'S EIICHI!" My cousin's voice booms out of the phone and I sigh.

"I know, what's up."

"Nothing much, I just wanted to make sure you remember our date todaay." He sings through the phone and I grimace.

"I couldn't even if I tried, Eiichi." I meant it as an insult, but the stupid kid -even though he's older than me- took it as a compliment.

"I know right, me either!" Despite him being loud as shit, Eiichi is one of the few people I trust. He acts like a kid but he's extremely loyal and won't tell anyone anything. I smile into the phone.

"Eiichi, remember we're going to Sandy's cafe. Don't be late." I actually can't wait to see Eiichi, it's been almost a year.

"Roger!" I can visualise him saluting with a giggle. "I'll see you then, Ritsu-chan." He teases me with the 'chan' part and before I can scold him, he hangs up.

"Little brat. Why do I have to share DNA with him?" I mumble to myself as I grab my bag from the couch. Might as well leave now, I know Eiichi's going to be there early anyway.

When I reach the cafe, Eiichi waves me over from an outside table and I wave back. He hasn't changed at all.

His face is similar to mine except for the hair, His is longer and dark brown/black. Our eyes are the same colour but he's a few inches tall than me. That aspect makes me mad, he acts like he's 5 yet he looks so mature.

He meets me halfway and hugs me tightly. "Ritsu, I missed you." I hug him back with a smile.

"I missed you too, brat." I reply.

Eiichi chuckles and let's go. "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention something." He avoids eye contact and shifts around a bit.

"Eiichi." I drag out his name, prepared to glare at him. The little shit always does this, I should have expected it. He waits until the last second to let out the most important thing.

"Can I stay at your house for a weekish? Aunty said it would be fine but I forgot to ask you." His eyes look down at me and he reminds me of a dog once again. I sigh and run a hand through my hair.

What a fucking pain. If he realises who Takano is, shit is going to go down.

"Well mother's just going to yell at me if I say no, so sure. But you get the couch." The idea seems kind of fun though, Eiichi can cook and clean, or more like he actually _enjoys _doing that so I might be able to get something out of it too.

"Yay!" Eiichi hugs me again and then we go to sit down, we still have a lot to catch up on.

Soon enough, the cafe's closing and it's time to leave. I look down at Eiichi's bare hands and a question pops into my mind. "Eiichi, where're your bags?"

"Oh, Aunty had them sent over when you left the building." He avoids my eyes again but I'm too tired to get mad.

"Old hag." I mutter, and Eiichi chuckles a little.

We reach my apartment after awhile of walking and Eiichi looks at it in astonishment. "It's smaller than I thought it would be...and messier." He looks at the mess in disgust and I shrug, he can clean it if he likes.

"Yeah well I'm mainly at work, I come back, do some more work then sleep. This place is cheap too," I go to the kitchen and start making some coffee. I'm going to need it to catch up on the work I was supposed to do today. "Want coffee or tea?" I call out.

"Tea please," He sits down on the couch and covers himself with a blanket. "Why does it have to be so cooold?" He shivers and blows on his hands.

I was about to reply but a knock came at my door.

"Onodera." Shit shit shit. Eiichi gets up and starts walking but I stop him before he can reach it.

"I'll get it Eiichi, you finish the drinks. No sugar for me please." I rush past him and open the door to reveal a poker-faced Takano.

"What do you want?" I try to remain calm but it's kind of hard when all I can seem to think about is this morning.

"You're not going to get all your work done are you?" He stares blankly at me and I feel my defences lowering.

"I just won't sleep as much tonight, no biggy." I shrug my shoulders as if it's nothing but I know it's not that simple. And I was looking forward to sleeping tonight, shame.

"I'm helping you. We have a meeting tomorrow, I don't want you to be dead during it, it'll make me look bad." He walks past me without warning and before I can stop him, he comes face-to-face with Eiichi.

"Huh?"

"Eh?"

I sigh and walk past them. "Eiichi meet Takano, my boss who lives next door, Takano that's Eiichi, my cousin." I'm too tired to worry about anything at the moment, so the scenario doesn't freak me out as much as it should.

Eiichi is the first to recover from the shock. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Eiichi Iwakura." He has a smile on his face but I know he recognises Takano, but he can't seem to place it. Good.

Takano takes his hand and smiles but it's obviously fake. "It's nice to meet you too, I'm Masamune Takano."

Upon hearing the name, Eiichi's eyes show almost recognition, but he still can't seem to put his finger on it. That's dangerous.

"Takano's going to help me with my work, so you can use the bed tonight Eiichi. Tea or coffee Takano?" I get up again to make a coffee, but as planned, Takano gets up instead.

"I'll get it myself. You get the work out." Success, Takano always gets his own coffee, so I knew it would work. I need to keep these two separated before Eiichi figures it out. I get up to get the stacks of paper and Eiichi just sits there, not knowing what to do.

"Eiichi, are you tired?" I place the papers on the table and sit next to him. His eyes are drooping but his whole body is shivering from the cold. I quickly grab a blanket and wrap it around him.

"Yeah, I'm going to go to sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning. Ritsu-chan," he hugs me tightly and then stands up with his tea, then he walks into the bedroom. "G-night Ritsu and Takano-san." He calls out weekly from the bedroom. We called out our goodnight's back and get to work.

But unfortunately for me, doing work was hard not only because of my tiredness, but also due to the fact that Takano's sitting literally _right next to me. _Like, legs touching close.

My recent acknowledgement of my feelings for the taller man didn't help the position. I felt hot despite the weather and my heart was thumping through my chest. I wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it.

"-dera, Onodera." Takano leans close to me, calling my name.

"Huh? What." I look down and avoid his eyes.

"What were you thinking about?" A smirk rises to his face and he leans in closer, succeeding in making my face even more red.

"N-nothing." I lean back more, but my back hits the couch, leaving me no room to move away.

"Ritsu." He whispers right before closing the small gap between our lips. I tried to resist, knowing the only thing this kiss will result in is making my feelings for him even deeper. But soon that didn't matter.

His lips moved against mine and I started moving with his rhythm. One of his hands holds my cheek whilst his other one reaches behind my head, tugging on the hair to make me lift my head more.

My arms soon move on their own and they reach around to his back, hugging him tightly. Soon we stop for air, and Takano stared at me so gently that I almost melted into him.

_I love you_

The words came to my mind but I wouldn't say them. The moment I say them is the moment he wins, the moment I say them will be the moment he leaves me. My heart won't be able to bear it.

_Why do you stare at me like that, even though your only objective is to break me again?_


	3. Chapter 3

_I'm already broken, so why do you still play with me?_

I bury my head into the crook of Takano's neck and hold him tighter. My throat closes up with the words my body's begging me to say.

I want to say them. I want to fall asleep in his protective arms. I want to wake up to his gentle smile. But saying them means I lose not only the game he's playing with me, but Takano himself.

Takano holds me back, and we both sit there for the next 20 minutes in each other's arms, saying nothing and making no sudden movements.

I don't know what happened next, but apparently I fell asleep because now I'm in Takano's room...without Takano. I turn around on the bed and see his usual spot empty. I was about to start panicking -over nothing, of course- but the sound of the kettle whistling kept the unwanted feeling down.

I get out the bed and walk out into the lounge room, but not before noticing the red numbers saying 05:34. I see Takano, with -of course- no shirt, because what day isn't complete without a shirtless hot guy.

"Morning, Takano." I try to keep the blush off of my face when he turns around with his perfectly sculpted body. When the fuck does he even have time to tone his body to that perfection?

Takano smirked at me before replying, "morning, Ritsu." Don't use my first name! It always reminds me of when we- NO. It is morning, I'm not going to get hard this early. "-r tea?"

I shake myself out of my thoughts when I realise he's talking, "what?"

"Aren't you polite, I said would you like tea or coffee?" Takano scowls at me for my lack of manners -like he has them anyway- and turns to get me a mug.

"Coffee _please_." I stress the please -just to annoy him of course- and look down at his coffee table, noticing he brought over my work with him when he obviously carried me over here. The sight of my work, though, makes my stomach drop.

I'm not going to be done in time for the last train tonight. And almost like he was reading my mind, Takano speaks up, "I'm taking my car to work today, so don't worry about being late for the last train."

"H-huh? I'll be done in t-time for the last train!" My usual personality perks up before I tell it not to and my cheeks heat up even more. Well at least now I have a reason if he asks about my face.

Instead of replying though, he chuckles and settles the coffee down on the table. "What time does the other one get up, Eiichi, was it?" He takes his time remembering the name but at least he gets it, that's a start.

"I don't know, haven't seen him for awhile, but if it's anything like when I did used to see him then we don't have to worry about him screaming about my absence." I take a sip of my coffee and hold back the sigh that was threatening to escape, he always makes the perfect coffees.

I sit down at the coffee table and start working on my homework (I hate calling it that) seeing as I couldn't finish it last night, might as well get some done whilst I have time.

Halfway through my first section of work, I hear a clatter in the room next to Takano's... Mine. Since when does he get up so early?! Fuck me.

"RITSUUUU!" I block Takano's ears right before Eiichi screams but I forgot about mine, so in no time my ears were ringing and I felt like I could pass out.

"Mother fucker." I curse under my breath and get up to calm the baby. "I'll be right back, Takano." He nods back at me, still a bit confused over the scream.

I jog over to my apartment and see Eiichi outside it, looking worried, but the second he saw me, he smiled brighter than the fucking sun and he ran over to hug me. He didn't say anything, just kept his arms around me for the longest possible time.

"I'm sorry for leaving Eiichi, I didn't want to wake you up because you seemed so tired so I spent the night at Takano's." I pat Eiichi's head and smile. Eiichi's been like this ever since I ran away to England. He couldn't find me for a whole day, but after being told I went to England, he fucking followed me. Ever since then he hates it when he can't find me. Which is cute and all, but it's a pain when you try to go to the store to get food and he's running down the street looking for ya.

So since then, his loyalty has always favoured me because he sees me as the cute, can't-look-after-himself 'Ritsu-chan'. That reason is exactly why I told Mother to not tell him where I am, but to tell him I'm safe. After like 8 phone calls to me and me telling him I'm fine 100 times, he finally gave up on trying to find me. But Mother obviously told him where I am, which I'm sooo going to bring up with her.

Eiichi eventually lets go and I smiled at him. "Sorry for worrying you, Chi-chan~" I replace my smile with a smirk and use the name I always used to call him when we were younger.

Eiichi frowns a little and looks down, "I miss that name. I miss being a kid," he replies, obviously remembering how easy it was back then. "Oh and Ritsu, be careful of Takano. He gives me a bad feeling but I can't put my finger on it, it's like I've seen him on a wanted poster or something." His eyes darken a little and I feel goosebumps crawl up my arms.

If he ever finds out who Takano is...yeah I'm gonna be so dead. I laugh a little, which sounds faker than Hatori's 'girlfriend' (It's obviously a boy) and smile at Eiichi. "Don't worry, he's not bad at all. Although he resembles a demon when he's at work, I guess it's called Hell Week for a reason. Haha." My joke doesn't seem to faze him though, as he continues to frown at me. I sigh a little and continue, "Takano's fine, trust me. I'd trust him with my life, Eiichi. And you know how hard it is for me to trust people." I hope the last part didn't trigger any Saga memories for him.

He obviously didn't put the pieces together and smiled at me. "If you say so then, Ritsu."

Right then, for the second time today, I hear my name being yelled.

"ONODERA!" Takano yells from his apartment, this can't be fucking good. The Devil himself walks out of his apartment, holding my work in his hand. "Have I taught you nothing! How did you fuck up your work this bad?!" He holds it in front of my face and I take it. It takes me a second, but I figure out what he meant.

"That's your fault!" I was about to elaborate on the fact that his prancing around in all his shirtless glory made me lose my focus more times than I could count, but I catch myself just in time. "I-I mean." I stutter and avoid his eyes, this won't go down well.

"How on fucking earth is this my fault, everyone else knows how to do this and I taught them the exact same way. How were you so smart in high school, what happened!?" Hey, I'm still very smart, it's your fault for being shirtless you prick.

But of course I won't say that aloud.

Wait.

No.

I turn to see a slightly confused Eiichi. "You guys went to high school together?" Eiichi asked, his voice already showing me the pieces have been put together and shit's going to go down. Takano nodded, not knowing what was about to happen. And Eiichi put on an obvious fake smile. "And you said your name was Masamune? Your family name didn't used to be Saga, did it?"

Takano's face became even more confused, I feel so bad for not stopping this, but I really don't want to get in the way of Eiichi's wrath. Run, Takano!

"It was, my parents divorced." Great.

I hear cracking and turn to see Eiichi cracking his knuckles and glaring daggers at Takano.

Fuck me.

_Is asking you too stay too much? Would you hate me if I wanted you in my life forever?_


	4. Chapter 4

_If you knew how I felt about you, would you really turn your back on me and walk away?_

I have to do something, before Takano gets killed.

"Eiichi," I walk in front of him and place my hands on his shoulders. He half snaps out of his state but he continues to glare at Takano.

"Ritsu, did you know?" He tears his gaze from Takano to me and looks at me, almost expecting me to say no. "Please tell me you didn't." I avoid his gaze and take a step back, towards Takano.

"I-I did." I finally look up to his eyes and it almost breaks me. He looks like someone ran over his dog and then proceeded to drive away in a non-caring fashion.

"How could you stand to live next to the person who is the soul reason you left Japan?" He slowly starts to get himself together, which is honestly about 100x faster than I thought he would. It seems he finally beginning to get that I'm an adult myself. "W-wait. Are you two dating?"

His voice finally goes back to normal, but right now I wish it hadn't. My face flares up and I start stuttering and flailing my arms. In the middle of my oh-so-well put together sentence, I feel Takano's arm snake around my waist and pull me towards him.

"We are." His voice is firm and it vibrates down to his chest -which _thankfully _has a shirt on-. He pulls me closer to him and rests his chin on my head. Way to make me feel small, Dick.

I kind of just stand there, knowing that if I try to escape then Eiichi will probably stab Takano.

But wait, did Takano say we're dating? Oh this is going too far, even for a game. It's like you're slowly tearing my heart out and ripping it into tiny little pieces. Meanwhile, Eiichi's just standing there, dumbfounded that I'm not trying to escape Takano.

Eiichi soon gathers himself and stands upright, he goes into serious mode and glares at Takano. "Do you love him?" He asks it so forcefully that I don't think even Takano could lie his way out of it.

"I do." Okay I was wrong, Takano can lie his way out of anything.

"Okay. I can't control what Ritsu wants to do, but if you EVER hurt him again, I will personally see to it that your life is living hell." He snaps and looks down at me, eyes instantly softening.

I don't get it, Eiichi is a human lie detector, why can't he see that Takano is lying? Why is he not trying to pry me from Beast's arms?

"Ritsu, do you love him.?" His eyes scrutinise me, leaving me under a lot of pressure.

"I-I-I...N-n...Ma-...K-kind o-of...Yes, I do." I flail my arms around again and stutter like I just woke up from a coma before finally giving in. I guess getting over Takano will be easier with Eiichi around, he always knows how to cheer me up. I feel Takano's breath stop and his arms hold me so tight I almost can't breath.

I can almost feel him smirking, his mind going though all the scenarios that could play out for when he decides to rip my heart out.

Eiichi sighs a little and then walks back towards my apartment. "I understand Ritsu," he switches his attention to Takano and glares. "If you _ever _make him cry out of anything other than happiness, you'll have to answer to me." He ends with the threat and then walks into the apartment, clearly satisfied with his last remark.

The moment the door closes, Takano flips me around and pins me up against the wall.

"Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say that?" Takano presses himself up against me and stares down at me with an emotion I wasn't expecting; love. I expected a smirk or something sinister, not this caring, affectionate gaze. It breaks down my walls and I look down at the non-existent gap between us.

"D-don't." I feel myself shake and my legs almost collapse beneath me, but Takano's hold keeps me up. He ignores me and places soft butterfly kisses all over my face before finally reaching my lips. I try to push him off me but even I can tell that it's half-hearted, eventually I give in -as if I hadn't already- and sink into his arms. As soon as he feels me relax, his hands move from my wrists to my waist. I could use this to escape, my arms are free. Instead of pushing him away though, my arms wrap around his shoulders and pull him closer.

Soon Takano pulls away, panting. He buries his face in the crook of my neck and holds me tighter. I feel tears prick at the edge of my eyes and I want this to be real, I want his feelings for me to be real and not just a game.

Takano lifts his head with a smile but his eyes widen when he sees my tears. "Ritsu?" He gently wipes a tear away and stares at me with a thousand questions.

I don't want you to leave me.

I don't want you to laugh and walk away.

I don't want you to break me again.

"I wa-want you to l-love m-me for real...please." I whimper quietly and look down, waiting for his laugh. Instead he grabs my hand and drags me towards his apartment. I follow without a word mainly because -after that kiss- I have no energy to resist. Eventually we reach his bedroom and he lowers me onto the bed before climbing over me.

"We have work soon, so I won't go all the way. But I'm going to show you how real my love for you is, Ritsu." He gently lowers his lips to mine and nibbles them open. I can't help the moan that escapes me as his tongue enters my mouth and his hand reaches down to the waistband of my pants.

"A-ah. N-no more, Taka-no." I begin to stutter as his hand snakes under my waistband and trails to my...lower region. He lightly brushes his fingers around my member, teasing me. I buck into his hand and silently beg for more. My body surrenders to his touch and soon my mind follows. I turn my head and bite into the pillow when his hand grasps firmly around my member, pumping it. I feel his other hand hold my cheek and turn my head towards him, he leans down and kisses me gently.

Takano moves down towards his other hand, and before I know it, his mouth is wrapped around my cock, I move my hands up to smother my moans but apparently Takano didn't like that. He releases me and smirks up at me. "Do I need to tie your hands up? I want to hear you, Ritsu." He grabs my hands and places them in his hair.

After kissing my cheek, he goes down on me once again, my hands grip into his hair tightly as my moans resonate throughout the whole room. Soon enough, I'm coming into Takano's mouth with a bright blush on my face. Takano swallows everything and then releases me with one of the most sexiest faces I've ever seen on him. His eyes are glowing and his smirk shows no ill intentions, I pull him up by the front of his shirt and slam my lips onto his.

The fact that he just sucked me off didn't matter as out mouths battled. His hands went to my waist and he pulled me closer to him as I lace my fingers back into his hair.

After about ten minutes, we pulled away with a string of saliva connecting us, I turn my head to his clock and almost choked. "WE'RE GONNA BE LATE." All thoughts about what just happened escape me as I struggle to get up and run to his front door. I was about to unlock it before Takano comes up behind me and snakes his hands to the front of my pants.

He lowers his mouth to mine and whispers hotly, "you need to zip up your pants Ritsu, only I can see that side of you." He then proceeded to zip up my pants all before I could even react. He releases me and walks back to his lounge-room. "I'll get all your work organised, have fun correcting the infinite amount of mistakes you made on your report." I'm out the door before he can make any more rude comments about my work. He's the reason I fucked it up in the first place, he can't say anything!

Although I'll never tell him _how _it was his fault.

All of a sudden, memories of my moaning and gripping his hair tightly, invade my personal space. My face heats up and my legs turn to jelly at his actions, even though they were fake. It amazes me at how good of an actor he is, it makes me think that he should be in the acting industry instead of shoujo manga.

There's no way his feelings for me could be real, I'm not going to fall for his tricks so he should stop trying. It'd help me if he stopped trying, then maybe I'll have a chance of getting over him again.

Just maybe.

_Why does my body have to react in this way towards you? It only makes it that much harder to get over you._


	5. Chapter 5

_Lies, lies, lies. The only thing you want is to break my heart again, not mend it._

So, as you can imagine, I spent the rest of the day avoiding the dick they call Takano. I got to work about 15 minutes before he did, because it so happens that his clock is 20 minutes fast and I got worked up about being late for nothing.

When he eventually turned up, he was lost in thought and grinning. I bet my all my goddamn buttons that it's because he was coming up with ways to break me. But I won't let it work. I'll just avoid him whenever possible.

...Is what I thought. But Takano-san's having none of that, he is _everywhere. _I can't even go to the bathroom without him being there. It's like he knows all the places I go to to avoid him. Which in all honesty, he probably does. I do have quite a tendency to go to the places where I think he won't be. He must've learnt them all by now.

Soon into the day, my stomach begins to cramp up and my head starts to pound. But today I have a huge amount of work to do, so I take a painkiller and go back to my manuscript. The manuscript that I just got has way too fucking many mistakes, which I kind of predicted, the mangaka got the flu mid-way through the chapter. Which is why the amount of mistakes doubled after the middle of it.

I pick up my phone and try to regulate my breathing, can't let her know that I'm sick as well, as an editor I must be in tip-top shape to help her where she needs it. Having us both sick won't help matters.

"Onodera-kun?" My mangaka picks up the phone and I instantly regret calling her. It's almost 11 at night and I can tell that I just woke her up. I apologise instantly and tell her that I'll call back tomorrow.

I hang up and rub my temples. I really don't feel well. I was about to get up and get a drink but a force on my chair stops me from turning around. I roll my head back and look up to see Takano's eyes. A wave of nausea floods through me and I put my head back to stop the dizziness.

"Are you okay, Ritsu?" I feel the back of Takano's hand press against my forehead and I slap it away, but not before feeling the bliss of his cold hand against my skin. I use a bit more force to turn my chair around and stand up slowly.

"I'm fine, I'm going to go get a coffee. Want any?" Can't be hostile at work, that's a no-no.

Scratch that, the no-no is being hostile when I'm feeling like shit. Wouldn't want to throw up on the guy. Okay maybe I would but doing that in public isn't very appropriate.

"Sure."

He walks to his desk and starts sifting through the mountains of papers on his desk. I go up to him and dump the manuscript in his hands. "I think I found most of the mistakes, but can you look through and tell me if I missed anything?"

Not that it'd help. The more mistakes means the more pissed off my mangaka will be. But there's no helping it, she's had a goddamn bad time.

I grab my phone before walking out of the office. On the way to the vending machine I type in the number for Eiichi.

"Ritsu-chan? What's up?" Eiichi asks.

"Nothing, just wanted to tell you that I'm going to be late. I have more work than I thought. So don't wait up for me." I press the buttons of the vending machine and grab 2 coffees.

Eiichi's giggles a little, "are you gonna be home at all?"

I feel my face go red and I whisper into the phone, "what are you implying!?"

Eiichi giggles on the other end and then hangs up the phone without another word. Cheeky little shit.

My stomach begins to make some weird gurgling noises and before I know it, I'm on the floor, clutching my midriff. Maybe this is what's it like for women when they get cramps, do they also feel like they're going to die and would sell their soul to the devil for it to stop? I open my mouth to yell for someone to help -because whether I like it or not, help is needed- but instead of a cry for help, a weird, strained groan escapes my throat.

God fucking dammit.

It takes about 5 minutes, which felt like 5 hours, for my stomach to go back to being normal. I get up from the floor and dust myself off. Maybe I should go to the hospital instead of home. Nah, sleep will probably fix it, whatever 'it' is.

I pick up the coffee cans just as Takano walks around the corner of the hallway. I hand a coffee out to him as if I wasn't just about to die.

"What took you so long?" Takano eyes me before taking the coffee from my outstretched arm.

"I walked slowly." I say, and walk past him, he turns around and walks in sync next to me.

"I see, and about that manuscript. I found two more kind of errors, they're things that don't have to be changed, but it'll just help the mangaka instead of the audience. She got a cold didn't she?" He takes a slow sip of his coffee and in a sly movement, places his other hand on my hip as if I wouldn't notice.

"Ah, yes. She caught the flu when she was halfway done with the manuscript. I called her up before but realised too late that she was asleep and woke her up." I said the last part mainly to myself but Takano scoffed and looked at me incredulously.

"Idiot."

I tried to shake off his hand, put his grip was tight. I glared at him and spoke in a hushed whisper, "what do you think you're doing, what if someone sees."

"I'll just say you tripped and broke your ankle."

"At least say I sprained it!"

"Okay."

Shit.

Just before someone walked out of their department, Takano let his hand slide off of my hip and I shivered at the loss of contact. But he'd never know.

As soon as Takano walks into our department, he's yelling and screaming everywhere, going back to being the devil we all know he is.

"I'm leaving, good work today~" Kisa leaves with a wave and I get back to my report. If I can finish this soon then I might be able to make the last train, if I run that is.

"Oi." I stop in the middle of typing and look up to see Takano...and only Takano, everyone else must've left without me noticing.

"What?" I look back to my laptop, knowing that Takano didn't have anything important to say.

"Stop rushing, I told you I took my car to work, I would've taken you too but you just ran off before I could get you in the car." He takes his glasses of and rubs his nose, apparently I'm not the only tired one.

He's worried about me, for just a second, a small, small second, I let my guard down. "Thanks." Just after the word left my mouth, I realised that I just sentenced myself to 10 more minutes of being alone with him, like a test to see how long I can last around him.

Suddenly, my stomach cramps up again, I whimper quietly and slouch over myself, grasping my stomach with one hand and reaching for my water bottle with another. I swallow a few mouthfuls of water and lean my head on the table, refusing to make another sound.

"Oi, Ritsu, what's wrong?" Takano is up and behind me in a flash, trying to lift my head up. I shake my head and instantly regret the movement when my head pounds, like it's trying to escape its confinements. I try to tell him that's it's nothing and that I'm fine but once again, my mouth works on its own and a weird distressed noise comes out instead of my wanted words.

"Lift your head up, Ritsu." My body moves on its own at Takano's overpowering voice. I lift my head up, even though it pained me to do so. I close my eyes against the blinding light and feel Takano's cold hand press against my forehead once again.

I groan when Takano picks me up, but I didn't attempt to resist. If feels good to be in his arms, his lovely, strong arms. And his body's so cold, I shiver in delight when he's pressed against me.

Maybe being this sick isn't so bad.

_You help me and you control me but you'll never love me._


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys small message here, this chapter contains unconsented sexual content so if you're not comfortable with that kind of thing skip past the X's until you see the dialogue 'Ritsu. Ritsu. Ritsu' **

_Caring isn't supposed to be your specialty, so stop it...please._

"Where're we going?" I mumble, noticing Takano taking a different route than to our apartments.

"I'm taking you to a hospital of course." Takano stated as if it was more obvious than the sky being blue.

"No." I struggle to sit up, using the seatbelt as leverage, "please, no. I'm too tired Takano-san, I swear I'll let you take me if I'm still sick after sleeping. I just want to get home and fall into bed...please." I collapse back onto the seat, all of my energy gone completely.

Looking at me from the corner of his brown eye he sighs and slows down the car to make a U-turn. "Alright, Ritsu. But please tell me if you're not feeling well, I'm too young to die from a heart-attack." He takes one hand from the steering wheel and rests it on my knee, squeezing it. I flinch at first but I eventually realise that his cold hand pressing firmly into my leg feels too good to knock away. So I relax back into the soft seat and put my focus into feeling every inch of Takano's hand slowly moving over my knee. Feeling how his thumb is distinctly more rough than his other fingers and how the nail of his ring finger grazes my skin more often than the others.

XXXX

The sound of chuckling wakes me up, cold hands that were exploring my abdomen stop when my eyes open. I feel his breath next to my ear, coming out in small puffs as he laughs again. Goosebumps rise up on my skin when I feel how cold he is. His bare chest pressing firmly against my back feels like a huge icepack.

I turn my head slightly to see Takano smirking at me. And not his sexy, 'I-know-how-hot-I-am' smirk, this is devoid of emotion, it's the exact look that I've feared for the last week. The look that says he was just playing with me, that I'm nothing to him.

He flips me over roughly and pins me beneath him, not a single gesture of his caring. I struggle with my eyes closed, knowing that my heart will shatter if I see the smirk on his unblemished face again.

"Takano! Stop please!" His cold, calloused hand travels down my navel towards the waistband of my pants. He pops the button with one fluid movement and pushes the clothing down, gripping my flaccid cock hard and pumping it even harder.

He leans down to my ear and growls, "don't you love me Ritsu? If you do then you should do whatever it takes to fulfill my needs, see." He smashes his lips onto mine and I whimper, trying to cower into myself. He bites my lip and draws blood

"P-please...no" I rasp, hot tears roll down the side of my cheeks and I try again to escape.

He presses against me, covering my body with his. His hand moves from fruitlessly attempting to make my cock erect to pushing two fingers into me with no lube.

I cry out again and try to claw my way from underneath him.

"Ritsu." His voice cold, uncaring.

"Ritsu." He says my name slower, whispering.

"Ritsu!" My body jerks awake, and I instantly pull my knees up to my chest and lie on my side, facing Takano.

Takano whose face is full of worry.

Takano whose hands are gently stroking my face and arms with care.

Takano whose eyes are glistening with unshed tears.

I feel my eyes burn and tears follow the sensation. "I-I'm sorry" I whisper, my voice cracking.

"Don't apologize for anything, Ritsu. Are you okay?" Takano moves closer to me, wrapping me in his arms and warmth.

"I'm sorry." I whimper again, uncurling myself and burying my head into Takano's chest. He whispers sweet nothings into my ear and just holds me.

After a few minutes, I pull back and go to wipe my tears away, but Takano's already ahead of me, his gentle hands brushing away the evidence of my small breakdown. He plants a chaste but loving kiss on my head and looks at me. "Are you okay, Ritsu?"

I nod my head yes, and it's the truth. I don't know why. I should still be crying, whimpering, and I think I would be if Takano hadn't been here. He looks at me in the eyes and smiles.

He doesn't ask what I dreamt about, even though I'm quite sure I would've sleep talked. He doesn't question anything. He holds me and plants the occasional kiss around my face. I almost break down again at how lovingly he's treating me.

I turn my head to look at the time.

3:22...am

"I'm sorry...I woke you up really early." I cast my eyes down, no one would be happy at being woken up at this time holding a crying grown man.

He grabs my chin and lifts my head up. Placing a light feather kiss on my lips, he smiles at me. "I don't mind, Ritsu. I'd wake up at any hour of the morning just to see you, being able to comfort the one I love is important to me."

"Takano, I-" I was about to reply but a ringing sound interrupted me. Groaning, I untangle myself from the cocoon I found myself wrapped in.

Getting to my mobile just in time I sigh, not looking forward to a call from _anyone _at 3 in the morning.

"Onodera Ritsu speaking."

"Ritsu? Oh good I was hoping you'd pick up." Oh no.

"Mother! Why on earth are you calling at this hour?" I sit on the side of the bed and Takano pulls me into his lap.

"I just wanted to know if everything is going okay with Eichii."

"Eichii is fine, he's a very pleasant guest. Could this not have waited until morning?" I ask, flabbergasted that she would call at this time.

"That's good. Can you put him on for me? Nothing serious just want to check on how he is."

Oh no don't worry, I'm fine, no need to ask, "It's too late. I'll get him to call you when he wakes up."

"Rit-" Her voice cuts off and I look at my phone...of course it's flat. I can't decide whether that's a blessing or a curse.

Takano holds me tighter and I fall back into him. His hands roam around my clothed chest. He brushes against my nipple and I moan, bucking into his hand for more. He chuckles in my ear and I shiver, this is nothing like it was in my dream. The him in my dream didn't make me shiver from pleasure, he made me cower in fear.

He pulls at the hem of my shirt and I lift my arms. He takes it off of me and resumes his exploration. He nibbles at the back of my neck, lightly blowing on the abused skin. His hands move lower at an agonisingly slow speed, I try to lift my hips up, demanding to be touched, but he holds me down with his legs.

"I love you." He breathes, moving my head sideways to catch my lips. I moan and manoeuvre myself around. I pull myself closer to him by wrapping my arms around his shoulders and smash my lips onto his. Every idea he had about taking his time was thrown out the window. He gripped my ass and pulled me closer, out lips moving at an alarming rate. Teeth clashing and tongues getting tied.

He breathes my name when he pushes my pants down and takes them off. I tug at his shirt and moan.

"You're wearing too much." He smirks and kisses me quickly.

"Easily fixed." He lifts me off of him and I immediately search for his warmth again.

He takes off his clothes and I have a few moments to admire him. I glide my fingers up his chiselled arms and down to his visible six-pack. I move myself lower and lower, until my head is level with his long, thick cock. I tentatively lick at the clear liquid pebbled at the top. Both him and me moan at the same time. His taste explodes on my tongue and I go further, pushing my own boundaries.

I lick at the cut head, pushing my tongue into the slit, searching for more of him. I take his head fully into my mouth and slowly go lower. I pull back, gagging when it hits the back of my throat. I feel Takano's hands in my hair so I look up at him and he smiles.

"Go slow, there's no rush." I nod at him and take his cock back into my mouth. Using my hands to grip the rest of him. I suck in my cheeks and Takano grunts, holder my hair tighter.

"Ritsu...gonna." I shiver at the thought of tasting him and double my efforts. Not long after, he's shooting down my throat. I greedily swallow it all, moaning. Takano taps my head and pulls me up, making me straddle him once again. "Fuck, Ritsu. You're perfect."

He presses his lips to mine, slower this time though. Pushing his tongue in, he sweeps around trying to taste himself in me. He pulls back and a sly grin spreads on his face.

"Your turn."

_Maybe, just maybe. I can be granted another shot at happiness?_


End file.
